im having a bitter week
so following my bitter week
shall be a blogspot rant
on whats been bugging me lately
im so sorry if this changes your judgement on me
but i feel like if i cant get this out in some way.
im going to burst
im happy that i have this blog as a personal way to say whats on my mind
and not be judged by the people directly around me
even though im still 17, i feel like college has aged me.
when i was in grade 10 i wanted to party, drink etc
im still not even legal age and those urges are gone
after meeting my new friends they showed me to work hard. play hard
which means to study and work hard. and when i do want to let loose then have fun with it. BUT DONT BE STUPID
i see so many girls from my old highschool clubbing at 17
drinking at an eariler age.
and im thinking. whats the rush? you have from when ur 19 til ur dead to drink and go clubbing
why would i wanna rush my teen years.
i never knew the only thing to do when ur in high school is to party, drink and dress like a slut.
sorry for my language
like seeing all these halloween pics makes me sick. like i heard girls in gr 9 and 10 at my old school werent even wearing pants. (I HAVE NO IDEA)
like i know the rule : halloween is the one time a year u can dress like a slut and get away with it
but theres a line. you can still have a sick costume by using a creativity. NOT SKIN
like this halloween i didnt really dress up because i didnt really go out
i painted my face to look like a skeleton (petrilude's tutorial)
my friend went as a rubix cube\
and we were awesome!
like duude its cooold. how can these girls even go out without tights?
all i saw this wear were girls in short shorts with a football jersey and the war paint
others where in corset dresses. i didnt even know what the hell they were
im just tired of the impression that girls have now. that you have to show skin to be cool/fashionable/hot
its the one thing i try to teach my viewers. that you dont need to dress like that to fit in
i hate the fact that these girls will dress the way they do. and think theyre fashionable.
but if u take a step back. their outfit is still ugly, youre only distracted by the skin.
ive met so many girls that look amazing w/o looking trampy.
but i think its a phase, because in my college i dont see many girls that look the way high school girls do.
and im happy to be out of that environment.
back to the party topic,
what made me realize everything was about halloween weekend
there was a party to go to, i had an oppurtunity to get drunk and not have to drive home etc
but i sat there and realized, im tired, im on my period and i have 4 tests next week. i need to study. there will be other parties.
it made me realize that i wouldnt have said that 2 years ago. and im proud of myself
ive been doing better in school than in highschool
im concentrating and becoming more responsible
overall im happy with my life
but i can still rant right? ;D LOL
thanks for reading guys, you rock =D
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Holy Baloney is this real?!?
"There was a time when I used to run away
Anytime I started to fall
Cause loves never been very kind to me, no baby
Not very kind at all
Until you
You stole my heart away
Somehow you helped restore my faith
And something I thought wasnt for me
Now comes so easily"
- DNH "Because I Love You"
you really dont have to read this, im just expressing this topic like this is my journal or something lol
ok do heres the DL =D
i havent had a boyfriend in a REALLY long time
so my first and last one break my heart about 2 years ago
so it did take me awhile to recover from that
2 weeks after the break up i moved away from my hometown so it was devastating to be away from friends =S
i think those 2 events were a big reason for my weight gain.
my life, relationship wise between then and now was just ugly ups and downs with so many guys. it was at a point i thought there was no one in my new area for me or that i was just plain unattractive
so this boy i call my boyfriend is named Ted =)
i really didnt think i would show him to my youtube world because i feel that when gurus or other YT ppl expose their sig. other, everyone gets somehow involved. and when they break up we have to notify u guys. and its awkward seeing all the reaction in comments.
like heather123 (love her) said in a video that her and her bf broke up =( but she kinda had to because she had 2 videos with him in it (pictures etc)
fafinettex3 has a new bf, different from the one she posted in her blog moooonths ago. so a lot people asked about that.
i guess u bloggers will just know the details or w.e
im going to TRY to not put him in videos. LOL
so anyways back to the story ;D
i went to my ex bf's house for a suprise birthday party for another close friend
i didnt expect to stay long because how awkward i thought it would be to party at his house (it took us like 2 years to finally patch things up) so i planned to meet up with another friend and hang out with him.
throughout the party that friend ditched me (long story...he was a douche)
so i decided to stick around. i knew everyone at the party when i first walked in
but there was one guy i had no idea who he was. and in my head i was like "WHO THE HELL IS HE?!"
i was quick to judge.
ever since the last break up, moving away, weight gain etc. my self esteem shot down
when i started losing weight i started to bulid up my self esteem again.
but i still have my moments.
right away i thought he was one of those guys prefer skinny petite asian girls (i have noo offense to them =D)
i thought he was cute but never thought he would be into a girl like me
so as the party went on i got bored so me and some girls picked up those bubble blowers (bottle of soap and the stick thing) but they were like retarded, they wouldnt blow bubbles properly. he started laughing at me and i was like "fine, you try doing it"
he did, and he failed. and i laughed at him.
sometimes you just know when someone wants to pay attention to u.
when he was talking to the group his eyes were focused on me, so i thought "okay...lets give this a try"
i took a chair and pulled it in front of him and sat down and started our own convo.
i realized we had so much in common down to our nationality (half chinese, half viet)
we were engrossed in the convo that everyone went inside but us. we sat in the dark being eaten by mosquitos just to talk alone.
we got up to go inside finally and i said to myself "ITS NOW OR NEVER, YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW!"
and i asked for his number
ive never been the type to let the guy do it first
i find that kinda lame
he smiled and gave it to me and took mine as well
and thats where it started, after that night we talked on the phone for hours every night
to me it was magical because i havent had such an experience in so long.
i thought to myself "is this really happening? is it finally going to work out for once?"
so pretty much we got to know each other and finally went on our first date, then after a while he asked me to be his girlfriend. the reason why im blogging about this is becasue i wasnt everyone to know that, if ur in a sticky spot where u think theres no one out there for you. or u think you'll never meet anyone.
just be patient and wait, and dont let moments slip from you.
take charge! dont sit there hoping he'll notice you.
if i didnt ask for his number i wouldnt have talked to him again because we live far from each other and his friends arent very close to me.
best wishes to all of you in relationships and future ones as well!
picture on request =)
*hes actually a lot taller than me. im standing on a park bench to take those shots lol
Anytime I started to fall
Cause loves never been very kind to me, no baby
Not very kind at all
Until you
You stole my heart away
Somehow you helped restore my faith
And something I thought wasnt for me
Now comes so easily"
- DNH "Because I Love You"
you really dont have to read this, im just expressing this topic like this is my journal or something lol
ok do heres the DL =D
i havent had a boyfriend in a REALLY long time
so my first and last one break my heart about 2 years ago
so it did take me awhile to recover from that
2 weeks after the break up i moved away from my hometown so it was devastating to be away from friends =S
i think those 2 events were a big reason for my weight gain.
my life, relationship wise between then and now was just ugly ups and downs with so many guys. it was at a point i thought there was no one in my new area for me or that i was just plain unattractive
so this boy i call my boyfriend is named Ted =)
i really didnt think i would show him to my youtube world because i feel that when gurus or other YT ppl expose their sig. other, everyone gets somehow involved. and when they break up we have to notify u guys. and its awkward seeing all the reaction in comments.
like heather123 (love her) said in a video that her and her bf broke up =( but she kinda had to because she had 2 videos with him in it (pictures etc)
fafinettex3 has a new bf, different from the one she posted in her blog moooonths ago. so a lot people asked about that.
i guess u bloggers will just know the details or w.e
im going to TRY to not put him in videos. LOL
so anyways back to the story ;D
i went to my ex bf's house for a suprise birthday party for another close friend
i didnt expect to stay long because how awkward i thought it would be to party at his house (it took us like 2 years to finally patch things up) so i planned to meet up with another friend and hang out with him.
throughout the party that friend ditched me (long story...he was a douche)
so i decided to stick around. i knew everyone at the party when i first walked in
but there was one guy i had no idea who he was. and in my head i was like "WHO THE HELL IS HE?!"
i was quick to judge.
ever since the last break up, moving away, weight gain etc. my self esteem shot down
when i started losing weight i started to bulid up my self esteem again.
but i still have my moments.
right away i thought he was one of those guys prefer skinny petite asian girls (i have noo offense to them =D)
i thought he was cute but never thought he would be into a girl like me
so as the party went on i got bored so me and some girls picked up those bubble blowers (bottle of soap and the stick thing) but they were like retarded, they wouldnt blow bubbles properly. he started laughing at me and i was like "fine, you try doing it"
he did, and he failed. and i laughed at him.
sometimes you just know when someone wants to pay attention to u.
when he was talking to the group his eyes were focused on me, so i thought "okay...lets give this a try"
i took a chair and pulled it in front of him and sat down and started our own convo.
i realized we had so much in common down to our nationality (half chinese, half viet)
we were engrossed in the convo that everyone went inside but us. we sat in the dark being eaten by mosquitos just to talk alone.
we got up to go inside finally and i said to myself "ITS NOW OR NEVER, YOU GOTTA DO IT NOW!"
and i asked for his number
ive never been the type to let the guy do it first
i find that kinda lame
he smiled and gave it to me and took mine as well
and thats where it started, after that night we talked on the phone for hours every night
to me it was magical because i havent had such an experience in so long.
i thought to myself "is this really happening? is it finally going to work out for once?"
so pretty much we got to know each other and finally went on our first date, then after a while he asked me to be his girlfriend. the reason why im blogging about this is becasue i wasnt everyone to know that, if ur in a sticky spot where u think theres no one out there for you. or u think you'll never meet anyone.
just be patient and wait, and dont let moments slip from you.
take charge! dont sit there hoping he'll notice you.
if i didnt ask for his number i wouldnt have talked to him again because we live far from each other and his friends arent very close to me.
best wishes to all of you in relationships and future ones as well!
picture on request =)
*hes actually a lot taller than me. im standing on a park bench to take those shots lol
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
LONG TIME NO BLOG =(
yes i know guys
very long time since ive updated you guys ^.^
things have been hectic since the beginning of august =S
and theres only 2 reasons:
1) new boyfriend
2) college
i met him at the beginning of august so since then i talk to him all the time since we live a little far off from each other (40 min by highway?) so phone is all i have til the end of the week. (no im not needy lol)
and then COLLEGE. OMG WHAT A NEW EXPERIENCE
everythings so big and kinda scary. the first day i was soo freaked! i got lost like 10 times. and everyone is so intimidating so i didnt want to ask for help.
i use this blog like an online journal, so i may be blogging about more personal things now?
AHH I GAINED like almost TEN POUNDS THIS SUMMER!
My fault of course. i purposely slacked cause i wanted a break. then going out on dates doesnt help with eating healthy. i just got so lazy.
SO NO MORE! im trying to go back to the way i was before with the healthier eating and exercising. =D
so ill update u guys on that too ^.^
i am NOT letting all that hard work go to waste
im sure ill be back on track after by the start of october
i already fixed my workout sched to fit school and stuff
my goal is to lose at least 10 pounds before nov.21 which is my friends debut where i am a candle. so i want to look pretty =)
very long time since ive updated you guys ^.^
things have been hectic since the beginning of august =S
and theres only 2 reasons:
1) new boyfriend
2) college
i met him at the beginning of august so since then i talk to him all the time since we live a little far off from each other (40 min by highway?) so phone is all i have til the end of the week. (no im not needy lol)
and then COLLEGE. OMG WHAT A NEW EXPERIENCE
everythings so big and kinda scary. the first day i was soo freaked! i got lost like 10 times. and everyone is so intimidating so i didnt want to ask for help.
i use this blog like an online journal, so i may be blogging about more personal things now?
AHH I GAINED like almost TEN POUNDS THIS SUMMER!
My fault of course. i purposely slacked cause i wanted a break. then going out on dates doesnt help with eating healthy. i just got so lazy.
SO NO MORE! im trying to go back to the way i was before with the healthier eating and exercising. =D
so ill update u guys on that too ^.^
i am NOT letting all that hard work go to waste
im sure ill be back on track after by the start of october
i already fixed my workout sched to fit school and stuff
my goal is to lose at least 10 pounds before nov.21 which is my friends debut where i am a candle. so i want to look pretty =)
Monday, July 27, 2009
Fashion Secret: SPANX!
as you all know, im a heavy girl. but i love fashion and i dont let my weight get in the way of that. so i just wanted to blog about one of my favorite pieces that let me wear some of my favorite fashions =D
its SPANX!
http://www.spanx.com/home/index.jsp
http://www.spanx.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2990106&cp=2992553.3013396&view=all&parentPage=family
i think this is the one i have...but i bought it last year for a dress i had to wear. it was recommended by a sales lady when i was questioning the dress cause how it looked around the midsection (i was a lot bigger then)
so it pretty much sucks in the fat around ur tummy and thighs and slims the appearance of it under ur clothes.
AT FIRST. when i bought it (i couldnt try it on because i bought it at a stand) it looked horrible on me, it made me look bigger somehow and it was so uncomfortable because it would roll down and make a nasty lump.
*i know ur confused because i said this thing is awesome and right now im bashing it.
BUT THEN. after i lost 30 pounds i tried using it again for my prom dress, and it worked! Turned out i bought the wrong size! i bought it too small so now it fits me and it makes wearing fitted skirts/dresses so much easier.
i had such a hard time wearing high waisted skirts and fitted dresses because my love handles would stick at the side.
so ill show some examples that it does work for me:
this was taken after i bought my prom dress
this was taken after i put on the spanx
i took this when i was trying on my clothes right after i bought them
this was during my mass picture haul thing
i tried on the skirt again with the spanx after i wore the black one in the last posting
i bought my spanx at a stand in vaughan mills. i think its called spanx LOL it was 50 dollars i think. its pricey but really worth it i think. it really saves me in whenever i want to buy something that is so cute. but maybe not that flattering around my mid section.
you cant see it, it doesnt create lumps. only thing i dont like about it is that the skirt has to be longer than where the spanx ends. if i try rolling up the spanx it wont work and make my thighs all funky looking so maybe try getting one without the shorts part?
i hoped this helped!
its SPANX!
http://www.spanx.com/home/index.jsp
http://www.spanx.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2990106&cp=2992553.3013396&view=all&parentPage=family
i think this is the one i have...but i bought it last year for a dress i had to wear. it was recommended by a sales lady when i was questioning the dress cause how it looked around the midsection (i was a lot bigger then)
so it pretty much sucks in the fat around ur tummy and thighs and slims the appearance of it under ur clothes.
AT FIRST. when i bought it (i couldnt try it on because i bought it at a stand) it looked horrible on me, it made me look bigger somehow and it was so uncomfortable because it would roll down and make a nasty lump.
*i know ur confused because i said this thing is awesome and right now im bashing it.
BUT THEN. after i lost 30 pounds i tried using it again for my prom dress, and it worked! Turned out i bought the wrong size! i bought it too small so now it fits me and it makes wearing fitted skirts/dresses so much easier.
i had such a hard time wearing high waisted skirts and fitted dresses because my love handles would stick at the side.
so ill show some examples that it does work for me:
this was taken after i bought my prom dress
this was taken after i put on the spanx
i took this when i was trying on my clothes right after i bought them
this was during my mass picture haul thing
i tried on the skirt again with the spanx after i wore the black one in the last posting
i bought my spanx at a stand in vaughan mills. i think its called spanx LOL it was 50 dollars i think. its pricey but really worth it i think. it really saves me in whenever i want to buy something that is so cute. but maybe not that flattering around my mid section.
you cant see it, it doesnt create lumps. only thing i dont like about it is that the skirt has to be longer than where the spanx ends. if i try rolling up the spanx it wont work and make my thighs all funky looking so maybe try getting one without the shorts part?
i hoped this helped!
someone went SHOPPING!
its been a while since ive bought a lot of clothes at once. i usually buy peice by peice so i spend less LOL i buy a lot at once if my parents are buying =P but this time my wallet got burned =S
i was only suppose to drop by Spring, the shoe store i LOVE. and it was a seperate outlet location on hwy 7 and weston road. i bought a pair of zebra print heels which ive been dying to get since....yesterday when i saw them at the mall ;D i have always wanted them since i started getting into fashion but i was never daring enough to buy them. so here they are! my new baby to the family =) ($50)
then i went to the Urban Planet outlet near by because i was bored and a friend told me it was better there than the one in the mall.
i use to shop at urban planet a lot a few years back but then their stuff got awkard as if it was trying too hard =S
so i gave this location a shot and found a lot of cute stuff. its one of of those stores u really have to look through and find the one random cute thing =D
this is a random printed dress/shirt that i thought was so cute for the summer, especially on those days where its HOT and i dont have time to think of an outfit. thats why i love dresses, it requires no thought of combination other than shoes ^.^ and it was $10.50 =)
the shoes im wearing are my caged heels from aldo ($60)
i LOVE high waisted skirts ^.^ and i was so happy i found a grey one ^.^ it also came with that cute bow belt, i think the skirt was $20. i also got the black shirt from there for only 5 dollars (i couldnt resist)
the shoes are my new zebra heels from spring
i decided to pick up another high waist skirt in black because i dont have a long basic one. the ones i have either have straps or funky zippers, or are made of cotton. this one is so chic ^.^ it didnt come with a belt so i paired it with one i already had =D (forget where its from though)
the white shirt was also $5 at urban planet and im wearing the same heels as the last picture
i also bought jeans and some acessories but i forgot to take pictures =P
i was only suppose to drop by Spring, the shoe store i LOVE. and it was a seperate outlet location on hwy 7 and weston road. i bought a pair of zebra print heels which ive been dying to get since....yesterday when i saw them at the mall ;D i have always wanted them since i started getting into fashion but i was never daring enough to buy them. so here they are! my new baby to the family =) ($50)
then i went to the Urban Planet outlet near by because i was bored and a friend told me it was better there than the one in the mall.
i use to shop at urban planet a lot a few years back but then their stuff got awkard as if it was trying too hard =S
so i gave this location a shot and found a lot of cute stuff. its one of of those stores u really have to look through and find the one random cute thing =D
this is a random printed dress/shirt that i thought was so cute for the summer, especially on those days where its HOT and i dont have time to think of an outfit. thats why i love dresses, it requires no thought of combination other than shoes ^.^ and it was $10.50 =)
the shoes im wearing are my caged heels from aldo ($60)
i LOVE high waisted skirts ^.^ and i was so happy i found a grey one ^.^ it also came with that cute bow belt, i think the skirt was $20. i also got the black shirt from there for only 5 dollars (i couldnt resist)
the shoes are my new zebra heels from spring
i decided to pick up another high waist skirt in black because i dont have a long basic one. the ones i have either have straps or funky zippers, or are made of cotton. this one is so chic ^.^ it didnt come with a belt so i paired it with one i already had =D (forget where its from though)
the white shirt was also $5 at urban planet and im wearing the same heels as the last picture
i also bought jeans and some acessories but i forgot to take pictures =P
Monday, July 20, 2009
AH IM A REALLY EXCITED GEEK!
1) WHOSE GOING TO FANEXPO?!
omg im such a geek. im going to fanexpo again this year (which is a comic book convention that comes to toronto every august)
and this time im dressing up as a character =P i usually never do. but my friends talked me into dressing up as "Rise" from "Persona 4" NEVER HEARD OF HER LOL.
but shes very adorable and i hope i can pull off her look. i just ordered my coustume off ebay
its being custom made to the measurements i sent them. i hope all goes well ^.^ im scared cause i measured myself and dont know if i did it right.
2) random outfits (i know how u guys like to see them)
dress: costa blanca
leggings: sirens
shoes: spring
*these shoes go great with leggings cause they look attached to them and make them look almost like black skinny jeans =)
(ONE OF MY FAVE OUTFITS)
dress shirt..dress: h&m
woven belt: h&m
leggings: sirens
omg im such a geek. im going to fanexpo again this year (which is a comic book convention that comes to toronto every august)
and this time im dressing up as a character =P i usually never do. but my friends talked me into dressing up as "Rise" from "Persona 4" NEVER HEARD OF HER LOL.
but shes very adorable and i hope i can pull off her look. i just ordered my coustume off ebay
its being custom made to the measurements i sent them. i hope all goes well ^.^ im scared cause i measured myself and dont know if i did it right.
2) random outfits (i know how u guys like to see them)
dress: costa blanca
leggings: sirens
shoes: spring
*these shoes go great with leggings cause they look attached to them and make them look almost like black skinny jeans =)
(ONE OF MY FAVE OUTFITS)
dress shirt..dress: h&m
woven belt: h&m
leggings: sirens
Saturday, July 4, 2009
FIRST YOUTUBE MEET - with sandy!
today i had my first youtube meet with sandy aka sanderlees!
http://www.sanderlees.com/
it was uber fun!
grabbed lunch and talked talked talked
then went shopping for makeup ^.^
it was super duper fun meeting another guru ^.^
also thank you to her for the mac goodies from the warehouse sale i couldnt make it to last time with her ^.^
im posting a haul video now =)
but here are some pictures ^.^ taken right before we left..cause we forgot about taking pictures =P
http://www.sanderlees.com/
it was uber fun!
grabbed lunch and talked talked talked
then went shopping for makeup ^.^
it was super duper fun meeting another guru ^.^
also thank you to her for the mac goodies from the warehouse sale i couldnt make it to last time with her ^.^
im posting a haul video now =)
but here are some pictures ^.^ taken right before we left..cause we forgot about taking pictures =P
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